Grid Size:82W x 55H
Design Area:5.71″ x 3.79″ (80 x 53 stitches)
My Patron, EJ Fowler, is a massive 20 foot alligator living in a bog infested with witches. The residual magical energy has seeped into their skin over the decades giving them glowing green teeth and the infamous nickname The Cheshire Beast. If you see an eerie grin in the fog at night, you’d best run fast or Fowler will get you!
Some years I like to watch the Eurovision Song Contest. Most times, I have a hard time picking the winner and my picks are way off, but this year I wasn’t too bad. I accurately predicted four of the top ten which is astonishingly accurate for me!
My top picks were Sweden(14th), Finland(6th), and Bulgaria(11th) with honorable mentions for France(2nd), Ukraine(5th), and Switzerland(3rd). For me, I wasn’t really vibing with the first place winner, Italy, even though the song was great. Something about the whole bisexual lederhosen leather daddy aesthetic didn’t really click with me. I’m glad it won over some of the others but Finland was much more metal and deserved the top spot.
Finland(6th) was just everything I’m into, metal rock with a Linkin Park kind of vibe, fireballs, what’s not to love? Yes, please!
Bulgaria(11th) kind of gave me Billie Eilish vibes, a mellow song about becoming an adult and the complicated feelings that emerge about yourself, A+, good song, cool visuals, nice use of the stage, good stuff.
Sweden(14th) gave us the black power resistance song that the Netherlands wanted to give us but like 100 times better. It felt more genuine, less gimmicky, more “a million voices” and less “proud like a lion”. Good song, would like to see it get more exposure.
I’m glad France(2nd) got so many votes. I couldn’t understand anything she said, but boy did I know it was my fault she was breaking up with me. I don’t know how to say F you in French, but I felt it!
There were some songs that surprised me too. I was ready to write off San Marino’s song(22nd) as generic Euro garbage until halfway through a rapper came in and saved the whole song by giving it a break that it so badly needed. That rapper completely upstaged the main singer too. Ukraine(5th) was going to be a pass for me also because it was a little too unsettling and then trapped souls of the damned showed up in the background and I was suddenly super into the creepiness!
Winner for the dullest most frustrating missed opportunity goes to Portugal(12th) with an old school piano love song where the emphasis on the chorus just washes away all of it’s heavy themes. What’s a ballad that doesn’t fully embrace it’s tragic, overcoming-the-odds narrative? Not one that gets my vote.
Other dishonorable mentions go to Cyprus(16th), Moldova(13th), and Azerbaijan(20th) for pointlessly horny dance songs where the only appeal is the skimpy outfits. No, thank you.